CNWF²

RIDE

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

West Palm Beach, Florida

CyberNetic Industry Studios

Sunday, April 12, 1998

Time: 4:28:00 p.m. {Third Segment}

{cut to shot of the Ride set}

The "Ride" music is playing for a bit then fades out as the camera zooms in for a closer shot of the two commentators, "Slick" Nicholas and Horrace Nelson.

{commentary}

Horrace Nelson: Welcome back to Ride, everyone. For those of you who have been with us, we hope you have enjoyed what you've seen. For those of you just joining us, we've had a good mixture of news, point of views, and good CNWF Squared wrestling that you can't get anywhere else on widely seen television.

Nicholas Chase: That's right, Horrace. We're coming back to you with a late breaking announcement regarding wrestlers that will either be fired or will be relinquishing their contracts to work for other organizations. Two such athletes are Hell Kat and Lethal Weapon. Both wrestlers were scheduled for a match as a matter of fact which was going to be aired on Ride... but neither of them showed up causing us to cancel their match. There have been a lot of guys who have put up a less than acceptable performance in their matches... but they didn't even show. Both wrestlers will be out of the organization soon as well. Lethal Weapon has about finalized his contract termination and Hell Kat is about to receive the big ol' pink slip in the mail! That's what happens when you don't meet your contractural obligations. Of course, Lethal Weapon wants out anyway. Hell Kat... well... this is pretty much against his will... but he isn't putting up much of a fight, so we'll just see if we ever see them again.

Horrace Nelson: There are also other wrestlers in the "lazy work ethic" category whom Lex Victor intends to fire. These are people who haven't done anything in a while and Lex hasn't signed them to matches as a result. The people in this category include, but is not restricted to: BigFig, Kama-Sutra Kid, Mangler, Miami Mike Richardson, Mr. Linscott, Mystical Angel, "Powercheck" Pete LaCroix, Suicide, Ten Ton, and Tommy Craven. [takes a breath] There could be more people, but these are all people who could be fired if they don't contact the president soon.

Nicholas Chase: Wow! That sure is a lot of people! I'm glad I'm not in their situation... they're treading on thin ice and saying just the wrong thing could mean the end of their CNWF Squared careers!

Horrace Nelson: Definitely nothing funny about this whole situation, folks. There are a few big names in that hat which could disappear over night if the president gets mad enough. With him wanting to make way for more big names, you can bet he won't hessitate to knock them out of the picture if he has to. I guess you're right, Slick... they really should be careful when the confront the president!

Nicholas Chase: The "Slick Machine" is always right, baby.

Horrace Nelson: Well, Beantown Bully had some comments that he wants us to hear, so let's get to those. And don't call me baby.

Nicholas Chase: It's a figure of speech! And if you show me what your idea of a figure of speach is, I'll permanently ground the solo flight for your flying fingers.

Horrace Nelson: I never thought about that... let's get to the clips.

{Ride set}

Slick Nicholas turn to face the large projection screen as the camera begins zooming up on it.

{cut}

[The CNWF² camera's slowly fade in to a very scenic area.  The slender roads are lined with "old style" brick and cobblestone.  The sun is out, and blazing.  A gingerly wind gushes every now and then to escape overwhelming heat.  Flowers can be seen everywhere, as can insects, birds and children.  The grass is a beautiful color of green.  The camera slowly pans the entire area, in which it comes upon children throwing a frisbee, some teenagers rollerblading, and other trying to beat the heat with an ice cream cone from the nearby ice cream truck. Everything is quiet, and peaceful...even tranquil.  The camera finally zooms in on a sign, which reads...

BOSTON COMMON-ESTABLISHED IN 1658

It slowly zooms out, as the sudden squeal of a car's tires comes roaring near.  The camera quickly turns to see a forrest green, 1998 Jeep Wrangler 4x4 ripping into the sandy lot.  From the inside the Jeep, you can hear "They Came to Boston", by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones loud and clear.  The engine is shut down, as the motor slowly fades away to silence.  Stepping out from inside of the Jeep, is none other than former CNWF² World HEavyweight Champion.  Some argue that he's the greatest, and proudest champion of all time...Jeff Souders, or otherwise known as the Beantown Bully.  Souders is dressed in a pair of American Eagle sandlewood colored leather sandles, a pair of Docker's classic pleated khaki shorts, a white tee-shirt, sporitng the words..."New Year's Bash Featuring:  The Mighty Mighty Bosstones", and a pair of Oakley oval shaped sunglasses.  His short, dirty blonde hair is spiked very unshapely.  It has the "wet" look.  Souders has a mouthful of chewing gum, as he blows a bubble, and sucks it back in. Souders makes his way past the wooden rails, and into the center of the Common.  From there, the CNWF² camera's approach him.]

Beantown Bully:  Yeah, yeah...I promised to do one of these things for Ride.  Just hold yer damn horses.

[The Bully keeps walking into the Common's bathroom.  He enters, and dissapears.

{cut– three minutes later}

[Out of the blue, the Bully steps out of the bathroom, and approaches the camera.]

Beantown Bully:  Ahh...much better.  Now...have yourselves a damn seat, and we can get this crap over with.

[The camera shifts, as it takes it's position to film.  The Bully takes a seat on a wooden log bench.  He lays out, taking up the entire bench, and he folds his arms in back of his head, as his feets rest upon the bench's end handrest.]

Well, we got a lot of time to kill, so I understand.

[The Bully strecthes out, and let's out a big yawn, as he begins to talk.]

Like last time...I said we got a lot of unfinished business to address. There's about fifteen thousand CNWF jackasses I wanna get to today. Hell...this is gonna be on TV, I might as well take up all the damn time I need.  I'm sure Lexy won't mind.

We got the Bully's number one priority, "Malibu" Mike Donovan.  Mikey, you ain't gonna get this Bully off yer ass until you step in the ring with me for a second time. You haven't seen this side a'me, Donovan. And trust me...you _really_ don't want to.

See, Donovan...ever since you won that World Belt the first time, you've been running from the Bully.  I ran your yellow ass from here the first time...and I plan to do it again.  See son, you were at least smart back then...you dropped the belt before I could beat ya for it.

[The Bully points to his head, with his index finger.]

Smart move.

Well, Mikey...I haven't seen or heard a damn thing from you since this hell hole re-opened.  Maybe we're seeing a little de-ja-vu?  Lemme tell you something, Donovan.  I don't care if you go runnin' or not.  i chase your ass to the ends of this Earth to get you back in the ring. So don't think your troubles can dissapear that easy...cuz they can't!

[The Bully shakes his head, as to clear something from his mind.  he then kinks his neck from side to side.]

Public offender number two.  The Dominator of Destruction.  Hell, this chump seems to be more into drinking Pepsi, than defending against someone any good.  Well, lemme tell you something, Dom.  Our match was hyped up the ass.  It never happend.  Four words for ya, Dom.

[The removes his sunglasses, and gets right up to the camera.]

Let's make it happen.

[The Bully settles back, and puts his sunglasses back on.  He adjusts himself back into the same lay out position, and talks.]

Jeff Beam.  Well jack ass, I seem to think ya ignoring me.  Not a good thing, Beamer.  You of all people should know that once I harp on your ass, it ain't easy to shake me off.  So Beamer...you may be covented CNWF Intercontinental Champion, but ya know what?  I don't give a rat's ass.  I've taken out bigger, badder, and _better_ men than you.  It didn't have to be this way, son.  Your mistake's gonna nip you in the ass...royally.

Da SuperFan...you're next on the Bully's sh-hmm..list.  Just like Beam you think ignoring me will get you out of harm's way. _Newsflash_boy...it's not.  You're in some deep crap, son.   And it's gonna take some mighty big shoes to get you out of it.

[The Bully is about to address his next idea, when he gets hit in the side by a frisbee tossed from on of the small children.  The Bully's eyebrows can be seen raised under his glasses.  A small sacrcastic smirk comes over his face, as he picks it up, and throws it back right to the child.]

Don't let it happen again, or I'll break ya damn neck's.

[The children hear hm, and run off.  The bully chuckles, and turns towards the camera.]

We got another big peice of crap I need to say something to.  Kain Piller.  We can't forget about this big S-O-B.  Well, Piller...you may have returned.  But don't forget the man who brought you back.  And don't forget _why_ I brought you back.  For that one reason...to step back in the ring, and to kick yer damn ass all over again, big boy.

And what the _hell_ has gotten into the Assassin?  Man, you used to be one mean S-O-B, but now you think it's trendy to go all gothic n' crap. Well, I got news for ya, Robin Hood...this new attitude doesn't sit well with the Bully.  Hell, everyone is treying to be someone they're not.  It's sickening.  Pelius...just because I don't have a whole freakin' army behind me...just because I don't have a sword, or anyone of that crap, doesn't mean I can't knock yer ass out.  CAIN...same goes for you.  These guys are so caught up with playing dress up that they can't open their damn eyes, and see the _real_ talent.  Ha...they'll see soon enough, though.

[The Bully looks at his watch, and let's out a sigh.]

Alright...I ain't gonna chew up anymore of Lex's precious time.  But there is one more thing I gotta say.  This goes out to Frederick B. Inkel.  Son...I don't know what that jailtime's done to that messed up head o'yours, but there ain't no MoB.  That was where I went wrong, Freddy.  It made me rely on other people, and trust them.  Since the "Iron Man", and Da SuPerFan had to go screw it up, there ain't no more of that crap.  It's done, and over with Freddy.  If you think you can bring it back yerself, than I'd like to see you try.  But I'll be there, trying my damnest to stop ya.  See, it's something that reminded me of the "good times".  Times where friends could be trusted...but see, like the seasons, it's all changed.  F.B.I., you may be an aquaintence, but nothing more.  I have no time to play house up and wipe yer ass like you wish I could.  Your free ride?  It's over, son.

[The Bully gets up, and looks deep into the camera in an icy stare.  He

removes his sunglasses, and says...]

"It's time for a change.  Wimps need not apply."

[With this look, the camera fades out.]

{cut to Ride set}

Horrace Nelson and Slick Nicholas turn back away from the monitor to face the desk they are sitting at.

{commentary}

Horrace Nelson: Some strong words from the Bully. I have to say, he sounds like he's going to be a one man wrecking crew when things start picking up again around here!

Nicholas Chase: Okay... so any time one guy turns his back on everyone, he becomes a one man wrecking crew?

Horrace Nelson: Huh?

Nicholas Chase: I'm saying he didn't prove anything to me with that little speech of his. Heck, we had to cut out three minutes of his John time just so we could air the thing. He wants Donovan... but I think he's in the same situation that Kain Piller was just a few weeks back... he's on his way out. Yeah, I'm a big Donovan fan... and I know I said I'm not swallowing any of the rumors. The thing is going after a man who's looking like he could be out of the federation by the end of the week isn't a really tough looking thing. Because then you get to say "I scared him off!" when you didn't have anything to do with it.

Horrace Nelson: I _don't_ have anything to do with it!

Nicholas Chase: You know what I mean, Horrace. The thing is if this were just a couple months back, Donovan would be a very feared name. I think Lex has given Donovan a royal screwjob with this hiatus business. He just may have lost the greatest wrestler this federation has ever seen! And I'm excluding no one... not even Pelius!

Horrace Nelson: You're right, Slick. Maybe Bully should focus his sights on Jason Agony because he could end up with the gold this coming Tuesday... but I think you already mentioned who's going to have his sights set on... the man who's been saying he ran Piller out of wrestling.

Nicholas Chase: Jason Agony! Another innovator in this business who's often overlooked because his in ring skill isn't quite as great as some of the other competitors. Sometimes it takes a crazy man to make things happen... and I think Agony just might pull off this win over Donovan... as much as I hate to think about it. I get the feeling Agony's selling out, though. It seems his flock of fans is continuing to grow.

Horrace Nelson: When obvious talent is held back, that usually happens.

Nicholas Chase: Not always... just if you're lucky.

Horrace Nelson: Well, no matter what anyone says, it's time for us to get on with our next Ride match of the day. Suicide is taking on Frederick B. Inkel in a match that Inkel desperately needs to win.

Nicholas Chase: Suicide's been on a terrible slump lately... he needs to break out of it too, you know.

Horrace Nelson: Suicide's also one of the guys on Lex Victor's hit list.

Nicholas Chase: I heard Suicide already contacted Lex about quitting, but the reason he gave Lex was that he didn't feel he could wrestle effectively in CNWF Squared because he thought it was going to take a lot of time. If anyone remembers, the wrestlers had to wrestle house shows just about every day in the old days and Suicide felt he wasn't ready for that. Lex convinced him that it wasn't going to be like that anymore, so Suicide stayed.

Horrace Nelson: Your point being?

Nicholas Chase: The point being that Lex should have let him quit in the first place! He's no longer the phenomenon that upset Kain Piller a while back and we have no use for him. Let him rough it out in the bush leagues and see where that takes him. If it takes him back here, fine. If not, too bad.

Horrace Nelson: If that's what you think.

{Ride set}

Nicholas and Nelson both swivel their seats towards the monitor in which Suicide and Frederick B. Inkel can be seen in a wrestling ring.

{cut to shot of the match}

Suicide hits Inkel with a drop kick that sends him over the top rope. Suicide then steps out on to the ring apron and gets in line to where Inkel is, then leaps on to the second rope and executes an asai moonsault on to the sprawling Inkel.

{cut to ringside shot}

Suicide and Inkel are taking a while getting back up to their feet.

{commentary}

Keith Porter: That was a hell of a risky move there by Suicide. I don't know why he went for it!

Knee Johnson: When ya gotta win, ya gotta win! He just wants ta win!

Keith Porter: Well, he's gonna lose if he ain't careful!

{flash to later shot of the match}

Suicide is knocked to the floor as Inkel hits him over the head with a chair. He hits Suicide a few more times before rolling him back in the ring, soon following.

{cut to shot of the ring}

When Suicide is back in the ring, Inkel applies a chickenwing to Suicide's right arm and puts on the pressure.

{commentary}

Knee Johnson: Suicide's in bad shape right there! I think Inkel has this guy grounded for good with that chickenwing.

Keith Porter: If I were Inkel, I'd focus on the guy's back and legs so when he got out of the hold, he wouldn't be able to do anything afterwards. I do wrestle, you know.

Knee Johnson: Yeah... and you've never won a match in your life! Some advice giver you are!

Keith Porter: That's just in CNWF Squared, Knee. But if I remember correctly, you lost to Ross Perot a while back!

Knee Johnson: Uh... yeah! I lost to him in the first primary when running for president. Yeah!

Keith Porter: Huh? Wait... Suicide's out of the chickenwing! But he's clotheslined back down to the canvas by Inkel... that little comeback didn't last long!

{flash to later shot of the match}

Inkel is carrying Suicide over his head in a gorilla press, then he throws him to the canvas. Soon thereafter, he applies a sleeper hold to him to really wear him out.

{commentary}

Keith Porter: Suicide's in such bad shape right now. I really don't know if he should even be in this sport anymore!

Knee Johnson: Well, everyone's said it, so I might as well say it. The guy oughtta commit suicide!

Keith Porter: What isn't funny, Knee. How can you say such a thing?

Knee Johnson: Just take a look at the guy! He's a livin', breathin' pile o' trash! His career is already committing suicide... so he naturally should follow!

Keith Porter: Unfortunately, I think you're right about his career.

{flash to later shot of the match}

Suicide has just flown off the top rope and totally misses Frederick B. Inkel. He is on the canvas barely even moving. While Suicide is on the canvas, Inkel locks on what appears to be a crossface sleeper hold.

{commentary}

Keith Porter: I think we're about to see the Stakeout!

Knee Johnson: Mmmm... mmmm! There's only one thing I like better than steaks!

Keith Porter: What's that, Knee?

Knee Johnson: Steaks and beer! Yummy!

Keith Porter: That's not the kind of "Stakeout" this is, Knee...

{ring}

Frederick B. Inkel picks Suicide up off the canvas and runs with him locked in the hold, then leaps into the air. When they come down, the first thing to hit the canvas is Suicide's face. With Inkel's weight focused on Suicide's upper body, there is no way Suicide is going to get up again.

{commentary}

Knee Johnson: Hell! That right there's almost as good as a steak!

Keith Porter: Would you like to eat a steak that way?

Knee Johnson: As long as it has plenty of onions and KC Masterpiece on it!

Keith Porter: Oh great...

{ring}

In the ring, the referee's hand goes down for the count with Inkel covering. This happens to be the third time the ref's hand went down and the bell is rung. Inkel is announced as the winner of the match.

{cut to shot of the Ride set}

Once again, Slick and Horrace turn back around to face the cameras.

{commentary}

Horrace Nelson: And a big, needed win for Inkel who seems to be overlooked these days.

Nicholas Chase: That Knee Johnson is quite a character! He was the best guy that CNWF Squared ever signed to commentary. I doubt Lex had any idea of the guy's talent back when he first discovered the guy. I'm telling you, it takes skill to say the things he does with a straight face.

Horrace Nelson: Yeah, Slick. Anyway, we have to cut to a commercial, so don't go away!

{cut to overhead angled shot of the Ride set}

The "Ride" theme music kicks in once again as the overhead shot shows Slick Nicholas and Horrace Nelson going over papers they have in front of them. The shot and music then abruptly fade out.

___________________________

— {commercial break} |

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯